Tuesday, 29 March 2016

Revenge of the Sith: how it should have ended

A scene at the balcony. Padme and Anakin are talking.
Anakin: I had a nightmare. The same I had about my mother. It was about you. You… you died in childbirth.
Padme: Do your visions determine the future, or are only one of the possible futures?
Anakin: Yoda says the future is always on the move. There are many possibilities.
Padme: Come to think of it, I haven’t had any medical checkup lately.
Anakin: And now you’re talking!
(the couple hurriedly goes to the doctor, a shady type that asks no questions about senators and Jedi fathers).
Later, at the clinic.
Doctor: I have good and bad news. Good news is, these are twins.
Anakin: !
Doctor: Bad news is that it’s a high risk pregnancy. You, lady, should lie down in the hospital and you, above all, do not stress her.
Anakin (on the side, to Padme): So it’s decided then. To have proper medical care for you, we must come out of the closet.
Padme (on the side): But Anakin! They will expel you from the Jedi order, and since you’re one of the most important generals at war, the whole front will collapse.
Anakin: They will keep me long enough to end the war. Yoda is wise.
Padme: Not everybody will vote like Yoda. For example, Obi-wan is an idiot.
Anakin: True that…
Later, at the congress.
Chancellor Palpatine: Hey, what’s up, Skywalker. You look so glum today.
Anakin: My friend… has a problem no Jedi can advise him about.
Palpatine (with understanding): Is this friend a Jedi? Is it, by any chance, because of a woman? That happens more often than your Jedi friends would like to admit.
Anakin: My friend has to choose between his career responsibilities and his family. Do you know anybody who had a similar problem and could advise me?
Palpatine: Ah, Anakin, this happens all the time. Did nobody tell you? It is possible to have it all.
(sinister smile)
Join the Dark Side and I will show you how.